6.
DEEPAVALI DARSAN
BHAGAVAN in His embodied state occupied ourwhole heart, being dear to us as father, mother, God
and Guru, all in one. We were loath to leave His presence,
be it night or day. We slept outside the Old Hall, and
Bhagavan was always visible to us on the sofa from where
we were.
On the night prior to Deepavali in 1929, the first
year of my settling in the Ashram, Bhagavan suggested
my going home for the `Ganges' bath (Gangasnanam). To
me (why, to all of us!) the very sight of Bhagavan is a bath
in the Ganga, the sight of Bhagavan is the worship of
Siva, the sight of Bhagavan is the fulfilment of every ritual
and the practice of all austerities. Yet I did not want to go
against the mandate of Bhagavan as I went home, late in
the night. I was impatient to be back with Bhagavan, so
I woke up my wife and children even at 2 a.m., finished
the ceremonial Ganges bath, and hastened to His blessed
Presence.
Bhagavan lay reclining on the sofa. It was about
3-30 a.m.; I made the usual prostration and sat down
by the sofa. All of a sudden an aura was visible around
the head of Bhagavan. It was like the glory with clusters
of evenly arranged flames, just as we see round the
deities in our temple processions. Bhagavan's face shone
with beaming smiles. It appeared to me that on this
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occasion Bhagavan was giving darshan (gracious view)
of Sri Nataraja, the Lord of the Cosmic Dance. In my
ecstasy, I think I must have sung hymns from Thevaram,
which I love as dearly as the Vedas. The vision lasted
for half an hour, and then the glory vanished.1 At 4
a.m. Bhagavan sat up for His Pansupari.2 I related to
Him what I had seen, and Bhagavan again gave a
beaming smile.
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