31-3-45

One night, a few days ago, after supper, when Bhagavan
was resting on his cot in the verandah, east of his hall, something funny took place. He was facing south. Chadwick was sitting behind Bhagavan's back. Soon after Bhagavan took his seat and leaned on the cushions, Chadwick from behind stealthily and unnoticed fanned Bhagavan. When Bhagavan turned and looked, Chadwick withdrew the fan and remained still. When Bhagavan turned his face south, Chadwick resumed fanning again. Bhagavan turned round and Chadwick stopped. Bhagavan was left wondering how he got the breeze. Chadwick then laughed out and Bhagavan joined in the laughter. This shows how even with such an eminent Master a devotee can play and both can enjoy the joke like children.

Afternoon

It seems a visitor, the Raja of Sivaghar in U.P., told
Bhagavan that he had surrendered himself to Bhagavan and Bhagavan should give him jnana ^[?]. Bhagavan referred to an article on Nama Dev's insistence on the importance of the Lord's name, in the September 1937 issue of Vision, where it is pointed out that only when the `I', the ego, is surrendered the significance of the Lord's name will be realized. When I entered the hall the story of how Ashtavakra Gita came to be taught was being recounted in English, for the benefit of the above Raja and other visitors. After the story was read out, Bhagavan said, "Because Brahma jnana is not something external, which is somewhere far away where you can go and get it, you cannot say that it will take so long or so short a time to attain it. It is always with you. You are That! The story of Ashtavakra Gita is intended to teach that for getting Brahma jnana all that is necessary is to
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surrender yourself completely to the guru, to surrender your notion of `I' and `mine'. If these are surrendered, what remains is the Reality. Then, it becomes impossible to state what further time it would take to attain Brahma jnana. It would be wrong to state that it takes as much time as a man would require to put his other foot into the second stirrup after having placed one foot in the first stirrup. The moment when ego is completely surrendered, the Self shines."

Proceeding, Bhagavan quoted the last two lines of the
following stanza from Yoga Vasishta: "S??]?m ?T??sL? ??R?o O?]Y? L?Ve L??o. S??]?m ?T??}d Li?P?o O?]Y? L?V U?Y?o; S??]? ULeL?WeLs O?]?i U??V?? ??]m TWU Y?mT ]uUXo ??V?Ru?\." which state that unless the cloud of the `I' or `ego-sense' which covers the moon of the Divine consciousness (chidakasa ^[?]) is removed, the lily of the heart which knows nothing of the sense of `I' (ahankara) will not open out in full bloom.

Bhagavan also added, "We have to contend against age-
long samskaras. They will all go. Only, they go comparatively soon in the case of those who have already made sadhana ^[?] in the past, and late in the case of the others." In this connection I asked, "Do these samskaras go gradually or will they suddenly disappear one day? I ask this, because though I have remained fairly long here I do not perceive any gradual change in me." Bhagavan asked, "When the sun rises, does the darkness go gradually or all at once?"

Another visitor asked, "How to conquer passions?"

Bhagavan said, "If the passions are something external to us we can take arms and ammunition and conquer them. They all come from within us. If, by looking into the source whence they issue, we see that they don't come out of us, we shall conquer them. It is the world and the objects in it that arouse our passions. But the world and these objects are only created by our mind. They don't exist during our sleep."

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After all this talk Bhagavan drank a little water from his
kamandalam ^[?] and turning to his attendant enquired whether he had already drunk some water (i.e., after he returned to the hall about 3-30 P.M.). The attendant said `yes', and thereupon Bhagavan said he had forgotten it, and to make sure he drank some again. He further added, almost in an unguarded moment, as he rarely gives expression to such experiences of his, that sometimes he does not even know whether it is morning, mid-day or evening and has to look at the clock and try to remember before he knows what time of day it is. On one occasion, he has told me that he scratched his skin, where there was eczema once, as we scratch during sleep. And once when I was concerned over some physical pain of his, he told me he feels that pain `L?dLiP?t?T?p', i.e., it was a passing and faint experience like that in a dream. These are clues to the sort of life Bhagavan leads in our midst, seeming to act and move and feel as we do, but really living in a world of his own where the things we experience don't exist.