Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

For some time Bhagavan kept quiet as if he had not
heard her properly. At last one day he said, “Look here. You
have elders who want you there, but you insist on staying
here. You may do as you please. Stay if you like or go if you
want to. Why tell me all this? Your parents have been visiting
this place for a very long time. If they come here and ask
me, ‘Swami, what is this?’, what can I tell them?” She was
upset by what Bhagavan said and went out. Immediately
after that, Bhagavan looked at Ramachandra Iyer and said,
“When the parents advise her either to stay with her husband
or with themselves, what is the use of her coming and telling
me all this? What can I do? Will they not think that instead
of advising her properly, Swami has kept her near himself?
Both the parents are old. She is the only child. Whoever
asked her to discard her duties and stay alone here? Whoever
asked her to come here?”
You know, during the early days of my stay here I used
to go over to your place whenever you had any domestic
difficulty and come back in due course. In 1945, you wrote
to me about my sister-in-law’s sickness and the troubles you
were experiencing, but you did not ask me to come. You
did, however, say that my sister-in-law, in her sickness was
always expressing a desire to see me. I read out the contents
of that letter to Bhagavan and told him that I would write to
you again and go over to your place after receiving a reply.

That was because you had not written to me to come.

Bhagavan however felt displeased and told me to do as I
liked best. Noticing it, I said immediately that I was starting
that same night. Then Bhagavan replied saying, “Yes. That’s
good.” Meanwhile, Rajagopala Iyer came into the hall and
enquired whether it was a fact that I was going away to my
brother’s place. Bhagavan said, “Yes. They will be satisfied if
she goes there. It is good that she should go. When a person
is suffering from illness and keeps on asking for her sister-
in-law, should she not go?”
Sometime back a young man, closely related to Sundaram
Iyer (Bhagavan’s father) argued with his parents saying that
he did not wish to marry and that was the reason why he
came here. It did not matter if he came but even in the very
beginning he went and sat for food in the place where non-
Brahmins eat. The Sarvadhikari did not like it and asked him
to come to the place reserved for Brahmins. He did not do so.

Instead, he said that there was no need for caste distinctions
in Bhagavan’s presence. The Sarvadhikari tried to give him
proper advice by saying, “It is all right for Bhagavan as he has
renounced everything. How can you take up that stand? If
your parents hear of this, what will they say?” He did not,
however, heed that advice and began to argue. There was a
heated exchange of words. Bhagavan was silently observing
the whole thing unconcernedly. The young man could not
contain himself and so, approaching Bhagavan, said, “Should
not caste distinctions be discarded when one comes to
Bhagavan’s presence?’
“Oho! Is it the only thing that has remained for you? Does
it mean that everything else has been discarded? If so, this also
could be discarded. Where is the question of discarding? It
disappears of its own accord. What do you say? Have all other
differences been discarded by you?” enquired Bhagavan.

Thereupon that young man went to the place reserved for
Brahmins and sat there without uttering another word. Later
on he married, got children, began doing a job and comes here
now and then for Bhagavan’s darshan.

Is it not clear from this that Bhagavan wants everyone
to perform worldly duties so long as one has the feeling of
ego and also the feeling of love and hatred?