Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

* Sivam-Sundaram means that which is beautiful is the form of
Atma, Satyam-Sivam-Sundaram and Sat-Chit-Anandam are the names
given to describe Atman or Brahman.

Subsequently, in 1910, it appears she came here along
with her son and daughter-in-law. By then Echamma had
been supplying Bhagavan food every day. In the same way
Alankaratthammani also began supplying food. In due
course, she began giving food now and then to the devotees
also. The son and daughter-in-law used to help her in the
work. After some time the son renounced everything, took
to Sanyasa at the Tiruppananthal Mutt and began wandering
about as a Tamburan (wandering minstrel). Kamakshi, the
daughter-in-law, concentrated all her attention in the service
of Bhagavan with single-minded devotion, without being in
the least worried over her husband’s desertion. She passed
away sometime in 1938-1939.

The Granny had no money and none to help her in the
domestic work in the house. Seeing her desolate condition,
and taking pity on her, Niranjananandaswami, Kunjuswami,
Ranganatha Gounder and others advised her saying, “Now
you are an old woman. You can no longer worry yourself
about this service of offering food to Bhagavan. The Ashram
is giving shelter to several people. So you eat here and sit in
peace in Bhagavan’s presence with closed eyes; or if you so
desire we will send you food to your place. Eat and stay at
home.” She replied, “Whatever the difficulties, I will not give
up this holy task. If I do not have money, I will go to ten
houses, feeling my way with my stick, beg for food, offer it to
Bhagavan and then only will I eat. I cannot keep quiet.” So
saying, and with tears in her eyes, the woman went away.

Kunjuswami, Gounder, and other devotees took pity on her
and gave her financial help so as to enable her to continue
her offerings to Bhagavan. It was only after that, that
Rangaswami Gounder built two houses in the place where
Kunjuswami is now staying with a stipulation that
Kunjuswami can occupy them during his life time, and after
him these should be given away for the use of sadhus. He
endowed some property also for their maintenance and
arranged for this old woman to stay there. In her last days,
her son came to her and helped her in her offerings to
Bhagavan, even though he had renounced the world by
becoming a sannyasi and a wandering minstrel. In this
manner, the life of a devotee who had worshipped Bhagavan
for about forty years without failing even for a single day in
her self-imposed duty has come to a close.

Granny took great liberties with Bhagavan. During the
early days of my stay here she used to bring food and serve it
herself to Bhagavan. She used to place on his leaf a handful
of curry and a handful of cooked rice. One day, Bhagavan
reprimanded her saying, “If you serve so much, how can I eat
it?” With great familiarity, she said, “How much is it, Swami?
It is only very little.” “There are several other things also to
eat. Should not my stomach contain them all?” said Bhagavan.

“It is all a matter of the mind, Swami.” So saying, she served
him as usual and left. Laughing at it, Bhagavan told people
near about him, “Do you see? She is paying me back in my
own coin (my upadesa).”
For the last two or three years, she had been sending
food through somebody, and had given up serving it to
Bhagavan personally as her eyesight was failing. It seems
some one told her that Bhagavan’s body had become very
much emaciated. She was therefore feeling that it was all
due to her ceasing to serve food personally, and one day
she came to see Bhagavan. She approached him, and
shading her eyes with her palm, said with great feeling of
sorrow, “Oh! How reduced has the body become!” “Who
told you, Granny? I am all right. What you have heard is
all false,” said Bhagavan. The old woman came to the place
in the hall where women sit and sat down in the front row.

After a while, Bhagavan rose from his seat to go out. When
Bhagavan gets up, as you know, all the rest of us also get
up. She stood at the doorway leaning against the door. When
Bhagavan came near, he said with a laugh, “Granny, have I
become reduced? See how well I am! It is a pity you are not
able to see.” So saying, he went out.

Of late, she has not been able to see at all. Even so,
when about four months ago she expressed a wish to see
Bhagavan, a devotee led her to Bhagavan’s presence. When
a person near Bhagavan said, “Granny, you have no eyesight
to see Bhagavan. Why have you come?” She replied,
“Though I cannot see Bhagavan’s body, my body can be seen
by Bhagavan and that is more than enough for me.” The
agony she experienced when she heard that an operation
was performed on Bhagavan’s arm for the tumour that had
grown on it, is indescribable. When Echamma passed away,
Bhagavan remarked that Mudaliar Granny was still alive.

She too has now passed away. You see, Bhagavan felt relieved
because a great responsibility was off his hands now. She is
indeed lucky, but somehow I could not help grieving over
her death.