7th March, 1936

Talk 176.

Dr. Hand intends leaving the Asramam tomorrow, visit the Himalayas (Hardwar), return here, go to Bombay and embark for Egypt, Palestine, Europe and finally to his native land, America.

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He wants to go to the peak of the hill and desires Sri Bhagavan to accompany him. Sri Bhagavan might go up as high as is convenient for him and then wait for him to finish the climb - and catch him at an appointed spot on the hill. Sri Bhagavan smiled and asked him if he had heard of the experience of Dr. Beasly. Dr. Hand: He is my friend. He has told me everything - wonderful!

I am older than you, Maharshi. But do not give me up as a back number. I can climb up the hill as a boy would. When did you go to the peak last?

M.: About eleven years before. What did Dr. Beasly say?
D.: It is in strict confidence. I shall tell you everything if you are left alone with me. Maharshi simply smiled.

D.: Maharshi! Are you conscious of a brotherhood of invisible rishis?
M.: If invisible, how to see them?
D.: In consciousness.
M.: There is nothing external in consciousness.
D.: Is there not the individuality? I fear to lose my individual being.

Is there not in consciousness the consciousness of being human?

M.: Why fear to lose individuality? What is your state in dreamless sleep? Are you conscious of your individuality then?

D.: It is possible.
M.: But what is your experience? If individuality be there, would it be deep sleep?

D.: That depends on the interpretation. What does Maharshi say?
M.: Maharshi cannot speak for your experience. He does not force anything down your throat.

D.: I know. That is why I like Him and His teachings so much.
M.: Do you not really prepare your bed and are you not anxious to lose your individuality in deep sleep? Why fear it?

D.: What is the nirvana ^[?] of Buddha?
M.: Loss of individuality.
D.: I dread that loss. Can there not be human consciousness in nirvana?

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M.: Are there two selves in that case? Consider your present experience of sleep and say.

D.: I should think it possible to retain individual consciousness in nirvana. I fear the loss of individuality. Later, the questioner went up and round the hill and wandered about fifteen miles between twelve noon and eight p.m. He returned tired and gave a very lucid speech on agriculture, social conditions, caste system, spiritual quality of the Indians, etc.