15th June, 1936
Talk 202.
A sad-looking Punjabi gentleman announced himself to Maharshi as having been directed to him by Sri Sankaracharya of Kamakotipeetam, from Jalesvar near Puri, Jagannath. He is a world tourist. He has practised Hatha Yoga [?] and some contemplation along the lines of "I am Brahman". In a few moments a blank prevails, his brain gets heated and he gets afraid of death. He wants guidance from Maharshi.M.: Who sees the blank?
D.: I know that I see it.
M.: The consciousness overlooking the blank is the Self.
D.: That does not satisfy me. I cannot realise it.
M.: The fear of death is only after the `I-thought' arises. Whose death do you fear? For whom is the fear? There is the identification of the Self with the body. So long as there is this, there will be fear.
D.: But I am not aware of my body.
M.: Who says that he is not aware?
D.: I do not understand.
He was then asked to say what exactly was his method of meditation. He said: "Aham Brahmasmi [?]" ("I am Brahman").
M.: "I am Brahman" is only a thought. Who says it? Brahman itself does not say so. What need is there for it to say it? Nor can the real `I' say so. For `I' always abides as Brahman. To be saying it is only a thought. Whose thought is it? All thoughts are from the unreal `I'.
i.e., the `I'- thought. Remain without thinking. So long as there is thought there will be fear.
D.: As I go on thinking of it there is forgetfulness, the brain becomes heated and I am afraid.
M.: Yes, the mind is concentrated in the brain and hence you get a hot sensation there. It is because of the `I-thought'. So long as there is thought there will be forgetfulness. There is the thought "I am Brahman"; forgetfulness supervenes; then the `I-thought' arises and simultaneously the fear of death also. Forgetfulness and thought
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are for `I-thought' only. Hold it; it will disappear as a phantom. What remains over is the real `I'. That is the Self. `I am Brahman' is an aid to concentration. It keeps off other thoughts. That one thought alone persists. See whose is that thought. It will be found to be from `I'. Wherefrom is the `I' thought? Probe into it. The `I- thought' will vanish. The Supreme Self will shine forth of itself. No further effort is needed. When the one Real `I' remains alone, it will not be saying; "I am Brahman". Does a man go on repeating "I am a man"? Unless he is challenged, why should he declare himself a man? Does anyone mistake oneself for a brute, that he should say "No. I am not a brute; I am a man"? Similarly, Brahman or `I' being alone, there is no one there to challenge it and so there is no need to be repeating "I am Brahman".